Understanding Biting in Toddlers
Toddlers do the most adorable things: Give unexpected hugs, squeal with laughter, and cuddle up to you when they're tired.
But as any parent of a toddler will tell you, they also do some not-so-adorable things, like kick, scream ... or bite.
Biting is quite common in kids this age, but it can still be rather frustrating and difficult to manage at times. Here's how to help curb this type of behavior.
Why Do Toddlers Bite?
Biting is very common in early childhood. Babies and toddlers bite for a variety of reasons, and understanding why can help you address the behavior effectively.
Physical Reasons
- • Teething — babies bite to relieve gum pain
- • Exploring — using their mouth to explore new toys or objects
- • Oral stimulation — satisfying a need for oral input
Emotional Reasons
- • Frustration — unable to express feelings
- • Anger — strong emotions without language skills
- • Fear — reacting to overwhelming situations
- • Attention-seeking — to get a reaction
Developmental Reasons
- • Cause-and-effect exploration — testing reactions
- • Lack of language skills — can't express needs or feelings
- • Learning boundaries — understanding limits
Social Reasons
- • Getting a desired item — using biting as a tool
- • Self-defense — protecting themselves or toys
- • Imitation — seeing others bite
Important Facts
- • Biting is slightly more common in boys
- • It tends to happen most often between the first and second birthday
- • As language improves, biting tends to lessen
- • Biting also can be a way for toddlers to get attention or express how they feel
- • Toddlers lack the language skills to communicate how they are feeling
- • Instead, they may bite as a way of saying, "Pay attention to me!" or "I don't like that!"
What Can Help Kids Stop Biting?
Parents should have a zero-tolerance rule for biting — at home, daycare, and elsewhere. If it does happen, be sure to deal with it right away.
Step-by-Step Response
The next time your child bites, try these steps:
Step 1: Be Calm and Firm
Address your child with a firm "no biting!" or "biting hurts!" Keep it simple and easy for a toddler to understand.
- • Make it clear that biting is wrong, but avoid lengthy explanations until your child is old enough to understand
- • Remaining as calm as possible will help resolve the situation more quickly
- • Use a firm but calm tone
- • Make eye contact with your child
Step 2: Comfort the Victim
Direct your attention to the person who has been bitten, especially if it's another child.
- • If there is an injury, clean the area with soap and water
- • Get medical care if the bite is deep or bleeding
- • Show concern for the person who was bitten
- • This helps your child understand that biting hurts others
Step 3: Comfort the Biter, If Need Be
Often, toddlers don't realize that biting hurts. It's OK to comfort a child who feels upset about hurting someone.
- • An older toddler might learn from being allowed to comfort or apologize to a friend after a bite
- • But if the biter is using the behavior to get attention, you don't want to reinforce this behavior by giving comfort and attention
- • Use your judgment based on your child's age and the situation
Step 4: Offer Alternatives
When things have calmed down, suggest alternatives to biting.
- • Teach using words like "no," "stop," and "that's mine" when wanting to communicate with others
- • For example, show your child how to approach a peer, put out their hand, and then say "please" to ask for an item
- • Practice these skills during calm moments
- • Use role-playing to teach appropriate ways to express feelings
Step 5: Redirect
Distraction works wonders with kids this age.
- • If emotions and energy levels are running high or if boredom has set in, help redirect a little one's attention
- • Suggest more positive activities, like dancing to music, coloring, or playing a game
- • Move to a different location or activity
- • Provide appropriate toys or activities to engage with
Discipline and Time-Outs
Discipline usually is not necessary, as most kids don't realize biting hurts. Never hit or bite a child who has bitten, as this teaches the child that this behavior is OK.
⚠️ Important: Never Bite Back
Never hit or bite a child who has bitten. This teaches the child that this behavior is OK and models violence. It also doesn't help them learn appropriate behavior.
When to Use Time-Outs
If you try these steps and the behavior doesn't stop, time-outs may help. Older toddlers can go to a designated time-out area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — to calm down.
- • As a general rule, about 1 minute per year of age is a good guide for time-outs
- • You might need to supervise your toddler during a time-out, but be careful to not give them any attention
- • Your child should be calm and quiet before leaving the time-out area
- • Use time-outs consistently and immediately after biting occurs
Long-Term Strategies to Prevent Biting
To keep your little one on the right track, use these ongoing strategies:
Be Consistent
Reinforce the "No biting" rule at all times.
- • Use the same response every time biting occurs
- • Make sure all caregivers (parents, grandparents, daycare) use the same approach
- • Consistency helps children learn what's expected
- • Don't let biting slide "just this once"
Use Positive Reinforcement
Rather than reward negative actions with attention, make it a point to praise your child when they behave well.
- • Say something like, "I like how you used your words" or "I like how you're playing gently"
- • Reinforce positive alternatives to biting
- • Catch them being good and acknowledge it
- • Use specific praise that tells them what they did right
Plan Ahead
Toddlers might be more comfortable and not feel the urge to bite if they know what to expect in new or high-energy situations.
- • Prepare your child for new situations
- • If biting happens at childcare, you might consider putting your child in a calmer, smaller setting
- • Ensure your child is well-rested and fed before social situations
- • Watch for signs of overstimulation and intervene early
Find Alternatives
As language skills develop, you can help your child find better ways to express difficult emotions.
- • Asking kids to "use their words" when they're frustrated or upset can help calm them
- • Teach simple words and phrases they can use
- • Model appropriate ways to express emotions
- • If you need help, a doctor, counselor, or behavioral specialist can discuss ways to teach your child to manage strong emotions and express feelings in a healthy way
When Should I Call the Doctor?
Biting is common in babies and toddlers, but it should stop when kids are about 3 or 4 years old.
Talk to your child's doctor if:
- • Biting goes beyond age 3 or 4
- • The behavior is excessive
- • It seems to be getting worse rather than better
- • It happens with other upsetting behaviors
- • Your child bites others severely or causes injury
- • Biting seems aggressive rather than exploratory
Together you can find its causes and ways to deal with it. A doctor, counselor, or behavioral specialist can help identify underlying issues and develop a treatment plan.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Is biting normal for toddlers?
A: Yes, biting is quite common in toddlers, especially between ages 1–2. It's often a phase that children go through as they learn to communicate and manage their emotions. Most children stop biting by age 3–4 as their language skills improve.
Q: Should I bite my child back to teach them it hurts?
A: No, never bite a child back. This teaches them that biting is acceptable behavior and models violence. It also doesn't help them learn appropriate alternatives. Instead, use calm, firm responses and teach them alternative ways to express themselves.
Q: What if my child bites other children at daycare?
A: Work closely with your daycare provider:
- • Ensure consistent responses to biting at home and daycare
- • Ask about what strategies they use
- • Consider if the setting might be too overwhelming (too many children, too much stimulation)
- • You might consider a calmer, smaller setting if needed
- • Make sure your child is well-rested and not hungry when going to daycare
Q: How can I prevent biting before it happens?
A: Prevention strategies include:
- • Ensure your child is well-rested and fed
- • Watch for signs of frustration or overstimulation
- • Teach alternative communication methods early
- • Provide appropriate toys for teething if that's the cause
- • Plan ahead for new or high-energy situations
- • Use positive reinforcement for good behavior
Q: My child only bites when they're angry. What should I do?
A: This is common. Help your child by:
- • Teaching them words to express anger ("I'm mad!" or "I'm frustrated!")
- • Teaching acceptable ways to deal with anger (stomping feet, taking deep breaths)
- • Responding immediately when biting occurs with calm, firm discipline
- • Helping them identify emotions before they escalate
- • If needed, consider working with a behavioral specialist to develop emotion regulation skills
Key Takeaways
Common Behavior
Biting is normal for toddlers but should stop by age 3–4
Teach Alternatives
Help children learn words and ways to express feelings
Stay Consistent
Use firm, calm responses and positive reinforcement
⚠️ Important Note
This article provides general information and is not intended to replace professional medical or behavioral advice. If biting persists beyond age 3–4, is excessive, or is accompanied by other concerning behaviors, consult with your child's doctor or a behavioral specialist. They can help identify underlying causes and develop an appropriate treatment plan.