Understanding Teen Suicide
Suicide occurs when someone ends their own life. Often this is a way to end overwhelming hopelessness or frustration or to solve a problem for which they can't find another solution. A young person dying by suicide is devastating to family, friends, and community.
Parents, siblings, classmates, coaches, and neighbors might feel angry or guilty, or be left wondering if they could have done something to prevent that young person from turning to suicide.
If you're worried about your teen or another child, take it seriously and talk to them right away. The information in this article can help you understand warning signs, risk factors, and steps you can take to help.
Why Do Teens Consider Suicide?
Learning more about what might lead a teen to suicide may help prevent further tragedies. The reasons behind a teen's suicide or attempted suicide can be complex. The rate of suicides and suicide attempts increases greatly during adolescence.
Important Statistics
- • According to the CDC, suicide is the second-leading cause of death in ages 10–14
- • Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, after accidents and homicide
- • It's thought that many more attempts are made for every completed teen suicide
- • Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys
- • Boys die by suicide about four times as often as girls, likely because they tend to use more lethal methods
Critical Safety Concerns
Firearms
The risk of suicide increases greatly when kids and teens have access to firearms at home. Nearly 60% of all suicides in the United States are committed with a gun.
⚠️ Any guns in your home should be unloaded, locked, and kept out of the reach of children and teens.
Medications
Overdose using over-the-counter, prescription, and non-prescription medicine is also a very common risk for attempting and completing suicide.
⚠️ Monitor carefully all medicines in your home. Know that teens may "trade" different prescription medicines at school and carry them (or store them) in their locker or backpack.
Which Teens Are at Risk for Suicide?
Adolescence is a challenging time. It's a period of tremendous possibility, but also one of stress and worry. There's pressure to fit in socially, perform academically, and act responsibly. Adolescence is also a time of emerging sexual identity and relationships and a need for independence that often conflicts with rules and expectations.
Major Risk Factors
Mental Health Conditions
- • Psychological disorders, especially depression, bipolar disorder
- • Anxiety disorders
- • Alcohol and drug use
- • Insomnia or sleep disorders
- • About 95% of people who die by suicide have a psychological disorder at the time of death
Emotional Factors
- • Feelings of distress, irritability, or agitation
- • Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
- • Previous suicide attempt
- • Intense emotional pain
Family & Social Factors
- • Family history of depression or suicide
- • Lack of a support network
- • Poor relationships with parents or peers
- • Feelings of social isolation
- • Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse
Life Circumstances
- • Major life changes (divorce, moving, financial changes)
- • Parent leaving home (military service, separation)
- • Being bullied or experiencing racism and stigma
- • Struggling with gender identity and/or sexuality in an unsupportive family or community
What Are the Warning Signs of Suicide?
Suicide among teens often happens after a stressful life event, such as problems at school, a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a major family conflict. Many teens who die by or attempt suicide have given some type of warning to loved ones ahead of time.
🚨 Immediate Warning Signs
If your teen shows any of these signs, seek help immediately:
- • Talking about suicide or death in general
- • Giving hints that they might not be around anymore
- • Making plans or researching ways to die
- • Giving away treasured possessions to siblings or friends
- • Saying goodbye to people as if they won't see them again
Verbal & Written Signs
- • Talk about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
- • Express feelings of being a burden
- • Say things like "Everyone would be better off without me"
- • Write songs, poems, or letters about death, separation, and loss
- • Talk about wanting to disappear or not exist
Behavioral Changes
- • Pull away from friends or family
- • Lose the desire to take part in favorite things or activities
- • Lose interest in school or sports
- • Engage in risk-taking behaviors
- • Increase use of alcohol or drugs
Physical & Cognitive Changes
- • Have changes in eating or sleeping habits
- • Have trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
- • Show signs of depression (sadness, irritability, mood swings)
- • Extreme fatigue or loss of energy
- • Physical complaints (headaches, stomachaches)
Emotional Signs
- • Appear extremely sad or withdrawn
- • Show sudden mood improvement after being depressed (may indicate they've made a decision)
- • Express feelings of worthlessness or self-hatred
- • Show overwhelming guilt or shame
- • Appear anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep
What Can Parents Do?
Even though suicide is not always preventable, it's always a good idea to be informed and take action to help a troubled teenager. Many teens who die by or attempt suicide have given some type of warning to loved ones ahead of time.
Important: Don't Dismiss Warning Signs
Some adults feel that kids who say they are going to hurt or kill themselves are "just doing it for attention." It's important to realize that:
- • If teens are ignored when seeking attention, it may increase the chance of them harming themselves
- • Getting attention in the form of ER visits, doctor's appointments, and residential treatment generally is not something teens want — unless they're seriously depressed and thinking about suicide
- • It's important to see warning signs as serious, not as "attention-seeking" to be ignored
1. Watch and Listen
Keep a close eye on a teen who is depressed and withdrawn. Understanding depression in teens is very important because it can look different from commonly held beliefs about depression.
Understanding Teen Depression
Teen depression may take the form of:
- • Problems with friends, grades, or sleep
- • Being cranky and irritable rather than chronic sadness or crying
- • Withdrawal from activities they used to enjoy
- • Changes in eating patterns
- • Try to keep the lines of communication open and express your concern, support, and love
- • If your teen confides in you, show that you take those concerns seriously
- • A fight with a friend might not seem like a big deal to you, but for a teen it can feel immense and consuming
- • Don't minimize or ignore what your teen is going through, as this can increase their sense of hopelessness
- • If your teen doesn't feel comfortable talking with you, suggest a more neutral person, such as another relative, a clergy member, a coach, a school counselor, or your child's doctor
2. Ask Direct Questions
Some parents are reluctant to ask teens if they have been thinking about suicide or hurting themselves. Some fear that by asking, they will plant the idea of suicide in their teen's head.
It's Always Good to Ask
It's always a good idea to ask, even though it can be hard. Sometimes it helps to explain why you're asking. For instance, you might say:
"I've noticed that you've been talking a lot about wanting to be dead. Have you been having thoughts about trying to kill yourself?"
Research shows that asking about suicide does not increase the risk. In fact, it often provides relief to the person who is struggling and opens the door to getting help.
3. Create a Safe Environment
- • Remove or secure firearms (unloaded, locked, and out of reach)
- • Lock up all medications, including over-the-counter medications
- • Monitor prescription medications carefully
- • Remove or secure other potentially dangerous items
- • Limit access to alcohol and substances
- • Stay close and don't leave your teen alone if they're in crisis
How Can We Get Help?
🚨 If Your Child Is Thinking About Suicide: Get Help Right Away
If you learn that your child is thinking about suicide, get help immediately. Don't wait.
Crisis Resources
- • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
- • Trevor Lifeline (LGBTQ+): 1-866-488-7386
- • Emergency Services: Call 911
Professional Help
- • Your doctor can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist
- • Local hospital's department of psychiatry
- • Local mental health association
- • County medical society
Emergency Situations
If your teen is in a crisis situation, your local emergency room can do a psychiatric evaluation and refer you to the right resources. If you're unsure about whether you should bring your child to the emergency room, call your doctor or 988 for guidance.
Don't hesitate to go to the emergency room if you believe your teen is in immediate danger.
Ongoing Treatment
If you've scheduled a visit with a mental health professional, keep the appointment, even if your teen says they're feeling better or won't go. Suicidal thoughts do tend to come and go. But your teen needs help to develop the skills needed to keep suicidal thoughts and behaviors under control during a crisis.
- • If your teen won't go to the visit, tell the mental health professional
- • By going to the session and working with the clinician yourself, you'll maintain access to the help your child needs
- • The clinician can discuss ways that might help your teen agree to get help
Family Support
Remember that conflicts between a parent and child can make things worse for teens who feel isolated, misunderstood, devalued, or suicidal. Get help for family problems and resolve them in a healthy way.
- • Tell the mental health professional if your family has a history of depression, substance abuse, or domestic violence
- • Talk about any other stresses at home, such as an ongoing environment of criticism
- • Family therapy can be very helpful in addressing these issues
Helping Teens Cope With Loss
What should you do if someone your teen knows has attempted or died by suicide? This is a critical time to provide support and understanding.
Acknowledge Your Child's Emotions
First, acknowledge your child's many emotions. Teens may experience:
- • Guilt — especially those who felt they could have interpreted their friend's actions and words better
- • Anger — with the person who committed or attempted suicide for having done something selfish
- • Confusion — they may feel no strong emotions or don't know how to express how they feel
- • Sadness and grief
- • Fear — about their own mental health
Reassure your child that there is no right or wrong way to feel, and that it's OK to talk about it when they're ready.
Supporting Friends Who Attempted Suicide
When someone attempts suicide and survives, people might be afraid of or uncomfortable talking with them about it. Tell your teen to resist this urge — this is a time when a person needs to feel connected to others.
- • Encourage your teen to reach out to their friend
- • Help them understand that their friend needs support, not judgment
- • Encourage them to listen without trying to fix everything
- • Help them understand that professional help is important
School Resources
Many schools address a student's suicide by calling in special counselors to talk with the students and help them cope. If your teen is dealing with a friend or classmate's suicide:
- • Encourage them to use school resources and counseling services
- • Encourage them to talk to you or another trusted adult
- • Monitor your teen for signs of depression or suicidal thoughts
- • Consider professional counseling for your teen if needed
- • Be extra supportive during this difficult time
If You've Lost a Child to Suicide
For parents, the death of a child is the most painful loss imaginable. For parents who've lost a child to suicide, the pain and grief can be intensified. These feelings may never completely go away. But survivors of suicide can take steps to begin the healing process:
Stay Connected
Keep in contact with others. Suicide can be isolating for surviving family members because friends often don't know what to say or how to help. Find supportive people to talk with about your child and your feelings. If those around you seem uncomfortable about reaching out, start the conversation and ask for their help.
Support Your Family
Remember that your other family members are grieving too, and that everyone expresses grief in their own way. Your other children, in particular, may try to deal with their pain alone so as not to burden you. Be there for each other through the tears, anger, and silences — and, if necessary, get help and support together.
Prepare for Difficult Days
Expect that anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays may be hard. Important days and holidays often reawaken a sense of loss and anxiety. On those days, do what's best for your emotional needs, whether that means surrounding yourself with family and friends or planning a quiet day of reflection.
Understand Your Feelings
Understand that it's normal to feel guilty and to question how this could have happened. But it's also important to realize that you might never get the answers you seek. The healing that takes place over time comes from reaching a point of forgiveness — for both your child and yourself.
Seek Support
Counseling and support groups can play a huge role in helping you realize you are not alone. Sometimes, bereaved family members become part of the suicide prevention network that helps parents, teenagers, and schools learn how to help prevent future tragedies.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Will asking my teen about suicide put the idea in their head?
A: No. Research consistently shows that asking about suicide does not increase the risk. In fact, it often provides relief to the person who is struggling and opens the door to getting help. It's always better to ask directly if you're concerned.
Q: What should I do if my teen says they're thinking about suicide?
A: Take it seriously and get help immediately:
- • Don't leave them alone
- • Remove any means of self-harm (guns, medications, etc.)
- • Call 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or 911 if there's immediate danger
- • Contact your child's doctor or a mental health professional
- • Take them to the emergency room if needed
Q: My teen is getting treatment but still seems depressed. Is this normal?
A: Recovery from depression and suicidal thoughts takes time. It's important to keep all appointments with mental health professionals, even if your teen says they're feeling better. Suicidal thoughts can come and go. Your teen needs ongoing support to develop coping skills. If you're concerned about their progress, discuss this with their treatment team.
Q: What if my teen refuses to get help?
A: If your teen is in immediate danger, you may need to take them to the emergency room even if they refuse. For ongoing treatment:
- • You can still attend sessions yourself and work with the clinician
- • The clinician can discuss ways to help your teen agree to get help
- • Consider family therapy as a way to address concerns
- • Be patient and persistent — sometimes teens need time to accept help
- • Consider involving a trusted adult your teen respects
Q: How do I balance monitoring my teen's safety with respecting their privacy?
A: When your teen is at risk for suicide, safety takes priority over privacy. You may need to monitor their social media, check their room, and know their whereabouts. Have an open conversation about why you're doing this. As they recover and show consistent improvement, you can gradually restore privacy. Always prioritize safety first.
Q: What resources are available for LGBTQ+ teens?
A: LGBTQ+ teens are at higher risk for suicide. Specialized resources include:
- • Trevor Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678
- • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (LGBTQ+ affirming)
- • Look for LGBTQ+ affirming therapists and support groups
- • Connect with local LGBTQ+ community centers and resources
- • Support your teen's identity and help them find accepting communities
🚨 Remember: Help is Available 24/7
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988
Call or text anytime
Trevor Lifeline (LGBTQ+)
1-866-488-7386
Text START to 678678
Emergency
911
For immediate danger
⚠️ Important Note
This article provides general information and is not intended to replace professional mental health advice. If you believe your teen is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Always consult with mental health professionals, your child's doctor, or crisis hotlines for immediate support and guidance.
Source: Based on information from Nemours KidsHealth and other reputable mental health organizations.